


I Dreamed of You

by Justice_hime



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drama, Infinite Tsukuyomi, M/M, One Shot, Post-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 04:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17655893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justice_hime/pseuds/Justice_hime
Summary: Umino Iruka was still firmly stuck in the past.He wasn't nursing war wounds like some still did. He hadn't lost anything more significant than what the village, as a whole, had lost; no family taken too soon, no trauma woke him in the middle of the night—he hadn't even seen battle in the Fourth World Shinobi war.In fact, what he mourned had never even been his.It had only ever been a dream.





	I Dreamed of You

**Author's Note:**

> *Just want to note that while I know from fanfics that there are further interactions between these characters in anime filler episodes etc this fic is based on the manga (and my memory of it lol)

One year.

One year and life in Konoha was finally returning to the same daily grind of pre-war times. People were falling into both old and new routines, picking up the pieces and simply carrying on. The war had ended almost a year ago to the day, but the repercussions of it had persisted on as the outcome was dealt with; lost loved ones were gradually laid to rest and honoured, rebuilding was completed, and the wounds of battle were slowly turning into scars of the past.

For the first time in a long time the streets of the village were filled with the sounds of life, the sounds you would expect to hear, instead of the oppressive silence it had become. The quiet adult conversations no longer lingered on the past, but turned toward the future and what it might bring. It helped that their next Hokage had officially taken up the role of Rokudaime, having been named as Tsunade's successor months ago but, so far, managing to avoid all things official. Tomorrow, Hatake Kakashi would be sworn in as the new leader of the leaf and the village had become instantly stronger in response to the news.

They had their leader, it was their first real step in moving forward.

Umino Iruka, on the other hand, was still firmly stuck in the past.

He wasn't nursing war wounds like some still did. He hadn't lost anything more significant than what the village, as a whole, had lost; no family taken too soon, no trauma woke him in the middle of the night—he hadn't even seen battle in the Fourth World Shinobi war.

In fact, what he mourned had never even been his.

It had only ever been a dream.

Infinite Tsukuyomi, the genjutsu which ensnared the entire populace—all but a select few.

Iruka sorely wished he'd been one of them.

Iruka knew what the genjutsu did in theory, they all had, it was what they were fighting against after all. The victims of Infinite Tsukuyomi would live forever in a dream world based on their individual desires, a world created solely for giving you everything you ever wanted.

In the weeks following the end of the war, Iruka had devoted an unhealthy amount of time looking into the genjutsu, hoping in some way to make sense of his experience within its hold. All avenues lead back to what he already knew; it all came back to individual desires. Your personal, perfect world.

Only...

Iruka's must have gone wrong somehow. If that were possible. Which it must be.

Because...

How could his perfect world encompass something he'd never known he wanted? Iruka considered himself as self aware as they come, he knew his limits, his needs, along with his wants.

Or so he thought.

Post-dream, he wasn't sure of anything.

Because, apparently, all it took to fulfil his desires was Hatake Kakashi. A man Iruka couldn't even say he was friends with. They had people in common, they were comrades; but, that was as deep as it went. He admired him as a shinobi of the leaf, yet for him to be what Iruka desired most...it didn't make any sense. The fact that he was a man wasn't the issue, Iruka knew his preference; it was the fact that he barely knew this _particular_ man. Iruka could count on his fingers the number of times they'd spoken with any real meaning. Most consisted of mission pick-ups and turn-ins, the occasional small talk at various run-ins and one spectacular blow up at the chuunin exams; the latter being the only thing of real note.

There was also that time Kakashi saved him during Pein's attack, but it hadn't exactly been the most compelling interaction he'd ever had and, apart from his obvious gratitude toward the other man, it hadn't been a defining moment between them. Iruka was sure Kakashi would have stepped in no matter who had been in peril.

He'd only really become aware of the other man in the first place after he'd been assigned as the jounin-sensei for team seven. Before that he was The Copy-ninja, someone Iruka had heard of, sure, but he'd never given much thought beyond his greatness as a ninja. To Iruka's knowledge he'd never had so much as a fleeting thought of possibly having romantic feelings toward Kakashi.

Okay, if he were being honest, maybe a very, very, fleeting thought in that direction.

Kakashi had made him feel almost every other emotion under the sun in their few encounters, but never anything akin to... _that_. Nothing like what The Dream had portrayed.

Admiration. Irritation. Rage. Embarrassment. Maybe envy once or twice; pity at one point too, after team seven was disbanded. He would even admit to being in awe of the other man on several occasions.

But _never_...

If he'd fostered any deeper feelings, ones that went well beyond a passing fancy, surely he, himself, would have been aware of them?

And what was becoming even harder to explain was the fact that, whether he'd known of his inner desires or not, now that he'd had them realised and then taken away—he missed it terribly.

He missed Kakashi.

–

Iruka fought the urge to fidget with the stack of papers he held, losing the battle in almost the same moment as he unnecessarily straightened them for the fifth time. The ever watchful guards posted outside the Hokage's office gave him an odd look—well, an odd head tilt, though, he was sure under the masks there was an accompanying look, and he smiled apologetically in response. Taking a calming breath, the chuunin forced himself to relax into the seat.

Normally waiting to see the Hokage wasn't the ordeal he was currently turning it into; _normally_ , he would have used the time to go over his report, sort class schedules, or get ahead in his marking. Today, however, held the added stress of possibly seeing him. And it was only a possibility. His worrying could all be for naught; the ceremony wasn't until tomorrow so there was the chance he'd be meeting with Tsunade.

_Please_ let it be Tsunade.

The man he dreaded seeing had been shadowing the out-going Hokage for weeks, but, with the ceremony so close, and if luck was on Iruka's side...

Before he could finish the thought the door to the office opened swiftly and Shizune poked her head out, greeting him with a warm smile which he dutifully returned. Shizune beckoned him in and, with one last deep breath, Iruka followed her inside, his eyes glued to the floor as the door, like the last nail in a coffin, clicked softly behind him.

"Iruka-sensei."

His gaze lifted and he could honestly say he'd never been so happy to see the Godaime sitting behind the large desk as he did right at that moment. He felt his fondness for her grow suddenly.

"Hokage-sama," he greeted, bowing once and straightening with a smile. His relief was immense and he knew it showed on his face as his smile widened.

She returned his smile and there was a pause before her gaze dropped to the report in his hands; her smile quickly becoming a scowl. "I thought I said a _brief_ run-down of the academy, sensei, not a novel!"

Iruka grinned, "you asked for ' _a complete run-down of the inner running of the academy and what can be done to improve the system_ '," he quoted. He'd already pared it down to half of what it was originally, knowing the reaction he'd get.

He gazed back at her with calm eyes as she tried her best to glare him down, they both knew she'd never used the word 'brief'.

"Come back next week," she barked out, breaking their silent war of wills and sitting back heavily in her chair.

"...next week?" Iruka parroted back, his heart sinking to somewhere around his knees.

"Yes, _next week_ , the Rokudaime can deal with that," there was a definite note of delight as she said the last part, clearly enjoying the idea of passing on the paperwork.

Iruka just stared.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow at his frozen form, "unless you have a problem with that, Sensei?" The question held the barely hidden threat that he better not have a problem with it, but it didn't change the fact that he did.

A massive one.

"Ah...," he wasn't stupid enough to make Tsunade aware of it, so, thinking quickly, Iruka formulated an idea that would suit them both. "Shall I just leave it here on the desk? A... welcoming present, so-to-speak?" he accompanied his words with his most mischievous grin and knew he'd achieved success when she mirrored it, laughing out loud a beat later.

"What a fantastic idea, Iruka-sensei."

Since the entire village was caught up in preparation for the upcoming ceremony classes, missions, and all unrelated things were postponed, leaving Iruka with a rare afternoon off. He spent the first hour standing in his kitchen berating himself for getting so worked up earlier. He'd been dealing with it well lately, helped, he supposed, by the fact that he hardly ever saw the other man. Then today, the very prospect of seeing him, up close and in the capacity of having to interact with him had undone it all.

He was back to square one.

Maybe two. He'd actually shown up, something he hadn't been sure he'd do until he was there. That might warrant square two, at least.

Sighing, Iruka stood away from the bench, taking his still vaguely warm tea with him to sit at his kitchen table. The silence of his apartment brought memories of not so silent times; times only he remembered.

_Dreamed_.

They felt so real sometimes, as if remembering another life; which was what made it so difficult moving forward. Because, although the genjutsu itself hadn't held them for any great length of time, its effect was such that you had a lifetimes worth of memories. He remembered sharing this very apartment, remembered sharing his life.

With Kakashi.

Former Copy-nin.

Future Hokage.

Never Iruka's...anything. It was like mourning a lost loved one, the loss more than he could bear sometimes. Which was ridiculous.

"It never happened," Iruka told himself firmly, and not for the first time.

It hadn't worked yet but, if he continued to say it, one day he might accept it.

It worried Iruka that something he had never had could retain such a hold on him. If he'd wanted the other man so badly why hadn't he been conscious of it before now? It also worried him how easily he now acknowledged those feelings; he wasn't sure he'd had them before, even though The Dream had inferred it, but now he had them in abundance. And even more confusing were his feelings for Kakashi. Were they for the man himself, or for a dream version? And how the hell could he convince himself that they were separate entities if that were the case? The first time he'd seen Kakashi post-dream had, thankfully, been from a distance, and even from so far away his arm had seemed to act of its own accord, reaching out to where the other man stood. If he'd been within touching length he was sure he'd have done something awful.

Like _hug_ the man.

Denying his feelings after The Dream was impossible. Made worse by the dreams he still had. Most nights he dreamt of The Dream world created by the Tsukuyomi; it never changed. Every detail was etched in his memory and what he remembered was...amazing. It was staggering to think how happy he'd been, how completely and utterly content Kakashi had made him.

Iruka wished he could ask someone, anyone, if they were still haunted by the images that remained of the genjutsu; but it wasn't talked about. It was an unwritten rule these days, you don't ask people what they Dreamt of. Some shared their experiences, usually those who'd Dreamt of great deeds and grandeur, but most, like Iruka, kept theirs close to their hearts.

During the last days of battle, when Iruka and all those left to care for the village had lost touch with what was happening, he'd allowed himself a moment. A short, overwhelming and fearful, moment where he imagined falling under Tsukuyomi. He imagined seeing his parents again. He had thought he'd known what his perfect world would consist of, and they had been there; alive and well, yet not prominent in his every day life.

That space had been filled by Kakashi.

"It never happened," Iruka repeated, and he wished he didn't sound so tired.

It should be getting easier, the differences between The Dream and reality grew with each passing day. He wasn't sure what it said about him, but, apart from the obvious absence of war and death, his dream had closely followed the same line as reality, albeit with Konoha losing none of what it eventually had.

And with the addition of Kakashi in his life. Letting out a disgruntled groan, Iruka scrubbed a hand over tired eyes. He needed to get it together. Starting tomorrow Kakashi would be Hokage, they would be working in close proximity to each other and he couldn't turn into an anxious mess every time.

–

Iruka had to admit, Kakashi suited the traditional Hokage attire; his mask seeming to add to the power the clothing inspired rather than becoming a screen to hide behind. He'd heard the council's opinions on Kakashi's insistence that he keep the mask, they were less than impressed, but he wouldn't be Kakashi without it. Both his eyes were uncovered, their dark depths surveying the gathered crowd as he took his oath. It was the first time for many of them, Iruka included, in seeing proof of what they'd all heard. He was Sharingan Kakashi no longer. Ever since his return his hitai-ate had remained slanted, perhaps to avoid the curious stares, or it was just second nature for him to do so. Either way, the absence of the borrowed Uchiha eye gave Iruka a focus point on which to separate the two Kakashi's in his head, that and his about to be given title. Not great distinctions, yet they were things he would need to keep the line clear-cut as, even watching him now, he couldn't help but compare him to the Kakashi he so easily recalled. There were other differences, of course; some subtle, some glaringly obvious. Like the way he looked at Iruka. It had been startling the first time they'd come face to face with each other and he'd encountered the other man's distant gaze; it seemed Iruka had grown accustomed to the unguarded Kakashi of his dream.

The explosive cheers of the assembled crowd jarred Iruka from his intent study of the other man and brought Iruka back to the present—Kakashi was officially the Rokudaime.

-

The party lasted well into the night. Iruka wasn't sure how he came to be wedged in between Izumo and Genma at one of the low tables in the council's banquet hall; he had vague recollections of being drawn in amongst the crowd.

It didn't explain why he was still here, however. He'd had to start declining peoples offers to refill his cup, he was happily buzzed and knew it wouldn't take much more to pass that line into full out drunkenness. Somewhere over Iruka's shoulder and above the joyous din of the room, Naruto's voice could be heard loud and clear and, by the snatches he overheard, Iruka had no doubt who the blond was talking to.

So He was still here, too.

Iruka had been using every ounce of self discipline he possessed to keep himself from searching Kakashi out in the spacious hall.

He didn't account for Naruto. He never did.

In the space of a few seconds Naruto had pulled Iruka from his safe, inconspicuous spot and hauled him over to another table, manhandling him in his shocked, and slightly tipsy, state into a seat almost directly across from Kakashi.

"Tell him, Iruka-sensei!"

"Huh?" Iruka mumbled intelligently, staring wide-eyed into Kakashi's amused gaze. "Tell who, what?" he forced the query through uncooperative lips then, with difficulty, tore his gaze away to stare at the exuberant blond. His heart was currently trying to beat its way out of his chest and he hadn't been following Naruto's yelled conversation closely enough to have the slightest clue as to what he should be telling someone.

"Tell Kaka-sensei that he shouldn't be getting too comfortable in his new position, I'll be relieving him of the title in no time!"

Despite the unwanted situation he'd been dropped into, Iruka couldn't help being amused by the blonds antics. A fond smile tugged at his lips and he'd almost managed to gather his courage to face Kakashi again when the man spoke.

"Maa, Naruto," his voice derailed any thoughts Iruka had been trying to put into words and, against his better judgement, he turned his gaze back to the speaking man. He was sure Kakashi was speaking. His lips were moving under the mask, and yet Iruka couldn't follow a word of what was being said; all of a sudden it was his dream in the flesh. The timbre of his voice was enough to plunge Iruka into dreamed memories, the sound so achingly familiar it hurt to hear. Not that looking at him was helping matters; he was smiling the same smile, mask pinching lightly when his lips curved upwards, his expression showing Iruka that whatever was being said was in the vain of teasing, because he knew Kakashi's teasing face. He knew the glint of mirth that now sparked in his eyes as Naruto, no doubt, took the offered bait and when those eyes locked on him, the mirth fading and his eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly, Iruka knew it was in concern. He could see the unasked questions forming in the other's mind.

Because he knew this man.

–

Kakashi's eyes followed Iruka as he fled, his eyebrows drawing down further as his mind cycled the many reasons as to why the academy teacher was fleeing. Not simply leaving, but _fleeing_. None seemed to fit with the stricken look the chuunin had worn only moments ago, when Kakashi had been on the cusp of asking if the other man was alright. He hadn't looked alright. And then the man had used the weakest excuse in the book for his escape, feigning an upset stomach while determinedly not meeting Kakashi's gaze.

That look though.

It was a look Kakashi had seen many times before, most recently on the faces of those still haunted by the events of the war, whether lingering trauma or the sheer loss. He'd worn that look himself more times than he cared to count, yet he couldn't help thinking it looked worse on the chuunin sensei's face; wrong, somehow. Which lead back to the question of what could possibly have put it there to begin with.

He motioned to the still standing Naruto, gesturing with his cup to the now empty seat once he had the blonds attention. Kakashi let the boy settle into the seat before beginning his subtle questioning, all it took was an offhanded comment from him before Naruto begun regaling him with the awesomeness that was Umino Iruka's life story.

–

Iruka hadn't slept a wink. He couldn't even recall the excuses he'd made in his escape earlier and he couldn't really summon the will to care either. He was perfectly capable of coming up with a reasonable explanation for his actions this evening, that wasn't an issue. It was the reaction in him that Kakashi's mere presence brought out, he had next to no control over that, as he so adequately proven.

It was hard to explain and even harder to describe; he could barely get his own head around it. The feelings the other man evoked were...

It was like an ache. Sharp and dull all at the same time and it revealed the empty spaces in his life he'd never been aware of, spaces he'd once had filled. It made him want what The Dream had shown him. Even here in his room he wasn't safe from his own memories; every room in this house reminded him of a shared life.

Maybe he should move.

It was all in his head and, in spite of his best efforts, was slowly taking hold of his heart.

Iruka closed his eyes and wished to forget.

–

The festivities were extended for two more days; visiting Kage and other dignitaries all making the trip to offer their congratulations and show their ties with Konoha. Classes were postponed a further few days, not picking up until the following week. Iruka couldn't begrudge the elation of his village, but the ongoing celebrations left him feeling hollow.

Without the distraction of teaching he spent far too much of his time wallowing away in his haunted apartment; there was no escape within its walls and a sharp loneliness began to unfold within him whenever he was home.

He resorted to doing extra training in the afternoons, seeing as his earlier plan of getting a good start on the state of the academy's supply room had been curbed. The building was locked tight, he'd checked. Twice.

His mornings were spent house hunting.

So far he hadn't had any luck, the only places available were far too large, bigger than his current place, and what he wanted was a downgrade. Something that didn't suggest, even if it was only to him, that he might, one day, share the space. He'd liked having the second bedroom for the random times Naruto would turn up in need of it—times that happened less and less these days. Besides, Iruka had neatly bypassed the guilty feeling by pre-emptively purchasing a fold out couch. Just in case.

Today as he passed by the bulletin board, eyes automatically skimming its content, he noticed a new addition to the housing list.

One bedroom, in sector two—which meant it was central and as an added bonus it was a private flat.

After reading the notice through several times, Iruka took down the information, trying not to get his hopes up too high. He just needed something to go his way, and with that in mind, he set off to make the necessary arrangements for a viewing.

It sounded exactly like what he was looking for, but so had the last one, until he'd viewed the property and realised it was an entire building floor that was being touted as 'a perfect single person living space.' He now knew that was code for 'over the top bachelor pad'.

As Iruka neared the housing and building office he heard the sounds of chatter, noting that none of the women he could hear speaking were actually in sight of the reception area.

"It's an improvement if you ask me!" One voice was saying as Iruka approached, his tread a touch heavier than normal so as to alert them to his presence.

"Lucky for you I wasn't asking, then," another put in when he'd come to a stop in front of the windowed desk.

It was clear his approach was either being ignored or had gone completely unnoticed.

"Oh come _on_ , Airi, you honestly think it's an improvement?" as a third voice joined in, Iruka pointedly cleared his throat.

"Well at least now we're able to see _half_ his face," a women with long dark hair appeared around the partition, looking back over her shoulder as she spoke, "instead of a measly quarter!" She laughed as she finally turned to face him and Iruka heard the laughter echoed by her office mates.

He just barely managed to suppress the urge to roll his eyes. With her last comment it was obvious who they'd been discussing. Kakashi had always been a regular staple in conversations when it came to the women (and the odd few men) of the village for as long as Iruka could remember.

It hadn't really bothered him until recently.

"How can I help?" her smile was open and friendly yet Iruka's answering smile was bordering on stiff.

"I'm here to enquire after house listing 9502, I would like to arrange a viewing."

"Sure thing, I'll grab the information and contact details for you," she disappeared around the partition once again and Iruka sighed as their conversation picked back up, subject unchanged.

"From what I've heard it's _well_ worth the wait to see what's under the mask," innuendo laced the unseen women's next sentence, "not to mention what he's been hiding under that uniform all these years!"

" _Junko!_ "

They weren't wrong, Iruka thought idly, quickly squashing the images of dreamed memories his mind immediately conjured as evidence.

"Such a shame I'll never get a look in..."

"You're married, Emiri!" "Exactly," Emiri said with what Iruka hoped was mock sorrow before she went on, "and just when it's looking like our _Hokage-sama_ is finally ready to settle down."

He...was? Something coiled in the pit of his stomach.

"Not to worry, my dear Emiri, I'll be sure to invite you to the wedding." Another round of laughter followed Junko's statement, at least Iruka was pretty sure that's who the voice belonged to, and he shifted slightly where he stood.

...Kakashi was looking to settle down? It was most likely just village gossip, the wishful thinking of women like Junko making assumptions now that Kakashi was Hokage.

Or perhaps that was Iruka's own wishful thinking.

The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur and by the end of it Iruka had signed on for the flat, for once the advertisement matched what he saw and while it was the exact opposite of where he'd made his home all these years, that was what he needed. Nothing in the space spoke of things that could be, had been, or otherwise. It was small, compact, but with everything needed for one person.

There was an easing of sorts, somewhere in his mind, like the loosening of a too-tight knot and now, as he walked purposefully toward the missions room for his evening shift, Iruka tapped his fingers against his vest pocket; smiling at the feel of his new house key nestled inside. Tomorrow. Just one more day and he could mark his first real step forward from the war and its effects. The buildings proprietor had been more than willing to accommodate his speedy move, not even blinking when Iruka set the move-in date for the following day.

Entering the missions room, Iruka's eyes automatically darted to the seat at the far left, breathing a sigh of relief when he found it, once again, unoccupied. He knew it was only a matter of time before their current Hokage would be joining them at the desk, but he couldn't help the small jump in his heart every time he entered the room and the alleviation that followed with Kakashi's continued absence.

–

The move was easier than anticipated, he'd stayed up half the night packing and sorting his belongings; going so far as to shift and stack his furniture for the convenience of taking it away. It was a long night, but it was a lot easier, bearing the weight his apartment carried, when he knew he wouldn't be sticking around. With the help of Izumo and Kotetsu they'd had everything relocated by mid morning and now all that remained were the few things he'd left out for the morning. Iruka sent his friends off with his heartfelt thanks and the promise of a free lunch.

He placed his toiletries in the empty box he carried and checked the cabinets for stray items before heading throughout the apartment and doing a sweep of each room.

By the looks of it, he had everything. I

ruka stood, for just a moment, in the centre of his lounge area and allowed himself one last look, one last memory, of his Dream-life within its walls.

Dreamed-visions of himself and Kakashi swam with ease to the forefront of his mind, images of the two of them side by side in the kitchen, cooking together, eating together. The teasing fights during their nights here and even the petty arguments that, to him, had taken place in this very apartment. Iruka let it all wash over him; basking in The Dream. As soon as Kakashi stepped over the threshold to their shared space he was a Kakashi only Iruka was privy to. His simple presence here had made Iruka feel safe, content and happy—happy in ways he'd never known he could be.

Abruptly Iruka pulled free from the memories, eyes sliding shut as the pictures slowly faded from his mind.

"It never happened."

–

The academy was back in session and the first day was done and dusted; his class today had been full of energy and surprisingly eager to learn. Usually, in the summer months, the children were less inclined to sit for any length of time in the classroom and Iruka had taken full advantage of the rare opportunity.

He'd had two full nights sleep in the new flat, owing, in part, to the full-on weekend, but Iruka couldn't deny it, today truly felt like a new beginning. Sunday had seen him unpack every last box and rearrange things to his liking before basking in the new atmosphere the space provided.

Now, arriving for his late afternoon shift at the missions desk, Iruka slid the door open, doing his automatic check of the Hokage's chair, and felt his lighter disposition stutter at the sight that greeted him. The Rokudaime sat slouched in the seat alongside the on-duty chuunin.

Kakashi's eyes were trained on the icha icha volume he held with an almost forced air of nonchalance about him; as if he were putting all his effort into appearing indifferent. At the sight, Iruka took a moment to steel himself, plastering a smile on his face, and closed the door behind him. He approached the table and reminded himself that he'd been expecting this and that the Kakashi in front of him was not the one from his dream. This man was one he barely knew; a practically stranger. Iruka nodded his head in reply to his fellow chuunin's greeting then set about placing his sachet in the provided cabinet and took his seat; thankfully the furthest from Kakashi.

"Hokage-sama," he acknowledged with a bow of his head, the title sounding weird when he considered who he was addressing—it would take a while to get used to.

The kunai that embedded itself into the wooden desk, precisely where he was about to rest his hand, told him Kakashi found the title far more disagreeable.

"Just Kakashi," he said lightly, looking up from his book long enough to give Iruka an eye squinting smile.

"...okay," Iruka said slowly, meeting the gaze of his fellow chuunin whose expression clearly told him they'd already been on the receiving end of similar actions. He pulled the kunai free, twirling it in his fingers once before placing it on the table and sliding it forcefully across the surface and back to its owner. "Kakashi-sama, then—"

The kunai re-embedded itself into the soft wood, Kakashi's hand firmly holding the handle.

" _Just_ Kakashi," this time, the man's smile was more a grimace than anything else.

So...Kakashi wasn't fond of formalities then, not unlike– Iruka stopped the thought and nodded his understanding, eyes not quite meeting the other man's. This time, the chuunin that separated them looked anywhere but at Iruka. With a nearly inaudible sigh, Kakashi pulled the kunai free of the table and, slipping it back into his pouch, returned his attention to his book. There were several awkward minutes where nothing further was said, while Iruka focused his attention on the entrance, willing the first round of shinobi to walk through it.

It didn't take long for the room to fill up and once he was immersed in his work Iruka could almost pretend Kakashi wasn't there at all. Almost.

"Ne, Iruka-sensei," his name was called unexpectedly and Iruka started at the sudden presence that loomed behind him, tensing as that presence then leaned into his personal space. An arm came into view along with a mission report that was placed on the desk in front of him.

"Do we accept such half-arsed reports?"

The words barely registered even though Kakashi had spoken them close to his ear; in fact that was probably the problem.

"Uh," he could feel the eyes of everyone present flicker his way and Iruka hastily skimmed over the document, willing himself with every fibre of his being to act normal. He relaxed his shoulders, muscles untensing from sheer force of will. He fervently wished Kakashi would move away, instead, the other man 'hmmed' questioningly—right. Into. His. Ear.

"Everything looks in order," Iruka found himself saying, a bold faced lie; the writer had filled in the very minimum required and had done so in a hurry, perhaps even while running if the handwriting was anything to go by. He lifted the sheet of paper and turned in his seat, the action giving Kakashi no choice but to stand again, "the handwriting could be more legible next time, though," he added and turned back to the queue with a tight smile, "next."

"I wouldn't have gotten away with a report like that," Kakashi said sometime later, causing Iruka to look up from the tally book he was checking over to the other end of the table. The other man's tone implied he was sulking, but the look in his eyes was knowing and heat rose in Iruka's cheeks as he bore the stare. He attempted laughing it off, his previous behaviour at the inauguration had apparently been swept under the rug, he sorely hoped this would be as well.

"You're welcome to scold them yourself, Kakashi-san," he said smiling, perhaps too much, because the other man's eyes narrowed in a way that showed he was seeing through the façade. "Must be all the good will in the air," he tried, a less than convincing chuckle accompanying his words.

"Of course," Kakashi's good-natured tone would have fooled anyone else, but Iruka could tell the man didn't believe him and he tried to ignore just how he knew that. Maybe he was mistaken and he was reading all the actual Kakashi's actions wrong, falling into the trap of blurring dream-Kakashi with the reality before him.

Makoto, or maybe it was Masaru, Iruka could never tell the twins apart, chose that moment to enter the now closed missions room, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had fallen.

"Here's the change of address form you were after," he smiled brightly at Iruka, handing the sheet over then turned to Kakashi, "Shizune asked me to remind you that your meeting with the Fire Daimyo is at seven o'clock tonight, Hokage-sama." The smile he directed at the silver-haired man was just as bright and Iruka frowned when no rebuke was given to the young man's use of the title. It seemed to go by completely unnoticed and when Kakashi's only reply was a scoffing snort, the dark-haired man left with a sunny wave.

Shrugging off the interruption, Iruka studied the form, reading it over quickly before beginning to write.

"You're moving?"

Kakashi was closer than he should be again and Iruka paused in his writing to look at the man now sitting next to him, "...I am," he confirmed, noting the way Kakashi's eyebrows rose as he not so subtly read the form the chuunin was filling out.

"Second sector, that's a nice area."

"Seems to be," Iruka said distractedly, he was having to make an effort again, with the silver-haired man leaning in closer as he continued his perusal of the document. This close, he could see the scar that ran through his now normal eye, could picture where it carried on down his cheek, stopping just above his smile lines.

That's if Kakashi's face looked anything like Iruka's dreamt version.

–

Kakashi's second encounter with Iruka after becoming Hokage was just as strange as his first and it confirmed two things. One—there was definitely something wrong with the sensei, and two—whatever that something was somehow pertained to him. The other man was distracted and nervous in his presence, when he was aware of Kakashi's presence at all.

After his subtle questioning of Naruto, Kakashi had taken Iruka's odd behaviour as a one off, perhaps, as unlikely as it seemed, the man really had been overcome by a sudden upset stomach and who was Kakashi to say that the stricken look didn't match the excuse? It wasn't like he knew the man very well.

Adding to the perplexity of the situation, earlier that day while Kakashi had been showing a visiting dignitary through the academy, he'd seen Iruka teaching. The difference from the Iruka he'd encountered at his inauguration and the one in the classroom had stopped Kakashi in his tracks. Within his class Iruka was self assured and confident, his expression was completely unguarded.

Unlike the man he had just spent the afternoon working with.

Iruka's actions when in the comfort of his classroom differed greatly to the Iruka Kakashi had so far observed. Not that he'd observed Iruka often or even knew him that well; in fact, the only thing Kakashi did know about the other man was that he was so overprotective of Naruto you'd think he was the boys mother, and he was a stickler for perfection when it came to mission reports. Which was what made it all the stranger when he'd brought that half-arsed report to the other man's attention. Iruka was well known for his high standards and had sent many a shinobi away, rank notwithstanding, with tails between their legs to correct said shoddy reports.

Kakashi had been expecting the same kind of reaction today. At the time it was merely a whim to break the monotony of working at the missions desk, but the outcome only added to his conviction that something was troubling the man. And that something had to do with Kakashi himself. Why was he affecting Iruka? Of the few possibilities Kakashi's mind provided only one seemed to fit logically, and of that one there were two possible motivating points; Iruka was either extremely intimidated by the title he now bore or, and this was the one Kakashi would hedge his bet on, the other man _highly_ disagreed with him bearing said title and was having a hard time dealing with him. He found it equally intriguing and bothersome. It would require further investigating; the trick of which emotion won out would come when Kakashi was able to answer the why. A much less daunting task when compared to the stack of paperwork and scheduled meetings he'd been staring blankly at for the passed half an hour.

And far, far, more interesting.

–

After his first shift with Kakashi, Iruka started to think he may not need as many hours at the missions desk. His rent was considerably less, his role at the academy brought in enough to cover the basics now and he'd heard through the grapevine that Hayase was looking to pick up extra work, as his partner was expecting. Depending on how much work the other man was willing to take on, Iruka could even stop working there altogether.

Avoidance wasn't going to fix this, but it would make Iruka's post-dream life a hell of a lot easier, because, after just a few encounters with Kakashi, he was already beginning to blur the lines of dream and reality. It didn't help that so far, as far as he could tell, there was very little difference between the two—which was odd, wasn't it? He didn't know Kakashi, not the actual one. He knew of him as a shinobi, knew he read porn in public, completely without apology, and that he was eternally late, also without apology. He didn't know Kakashi personally, and it would do him no good to spend time with the other man knowing what he knew, or what he'd dreamed he knew, because it would be so easy to slip. He had never seen the expressions he so vividly recalled, the same ones he was effortlessly interpreting now.

How had he managed to dream up a version that so closely matched the reality in the first place? Or was that part of the genjutsu? Though it couldn't be, from all his investigating he knew that the dream you created was based on how you wanted people to be. Did that mean his ideal Kakashi was just...Kakashi?

Except he didn't know what the other man was like. Or maybe, he supposed, if his desire was only for Kakashi to be with him, then the genjutsu itself had filled in the rest? It was so hard to know when no one was willing to talk about it.

If the real Kakashi was anything like the Kakashi he'd envisioned in The Dream, if he were the same, but everything was different, then Iruka was screwed.

–

Hayase was exceedingly grateful for his offer of mission desk duty and was willing to take over Iruka's full roster. The only problem, Iruka discovered, was that in the mean time his fellow chuunin had signed up for gate duty and Iruka was faced with either bearing with the mission desk for another two weeks, or find a replacement. For gate duty.

There was really only one thing he could do.

So, here Iruka sat, eyes and ears on alert while Kotetsu snored softly beside him in the booth, his head resting on his folded arms. It was just Iruka's luck that Hayase had been assigned the evening shift; if school hadn't taken an extended break these past couple of weeks he'd at least have school work to keep himself occupied, instead he had a long five hours ahead of him and his only company had been asleep when he arrived.

In the first hour, all those entering the village were returning shinobi and all that entailed was a quick tick of a box in their log, a polite welcome back, or, on the off chance he knew them, some form of small talk to fill in the otherwise boring duty.

Iruka glanced at the sleeping chuunin after signing in a visitor from Suna, some forty minutes after the last returning team had passed by, half tempted to follow his example. Annoyingly, he couldn't quite bring himself to do it; he'd never been one to easily slack off from duty, though, with at least another three and a half hours on the clock, he really wished he could.

Three outgoing jounin teams and another full hour later, Iruka couldn't help thinking that if he'd just worked the missions desk tonight he'd have been done by now.

He'd also have been an unhappy mess so he guessed boredom was the better option

. At the sound of an approaching tread, Iruka sat up a little straighter and leaned forward, checking to see whether it was incoming or outgoing. Outgoing, he thought, as the slow pace neared and he looked up expectantly in the direction of the footfalls as the person came into view.

Iruka stood up so fast it was a wonder he didn't give himself head rush, "Ka-Hok-Kakashi-san," he bowed, far lower than what he normally would in his surprise and when he stood to full height again he attempted to surreptitiously nudge Kotetsu awake.

Kakashi gave his usual 'yo' as he continued his path towards Iruka, hands stuffed in his pockets as he walked. He was wearing his usual garb, minus the vest, and now Iruka thought about it, he hadn't seen Kakashi in the conventional robes since the ceremony. Another one to shrug off the tradition.

Kakashi greeted him again when he came to a stop in front of the booth. "Evening, Sensei," his eyes slid to Kotetsu's sleeping form, eyebrow quirked upwards, then he met Iruka's gaze. "Busy night?" he asked mildly.

"No, not particularly," Iruka was picking up on something through the man's mild tone; he couldn't pinpoint what it was exactly, but there was an undercurrent that belied his mundane question. It put Iruka on guard and, remembering Kakashi's position, he picked up the evening log. "Sugihara Arata is visiting from Suna for the next five days. Three out going jounin teams have been registered, and the rest have been returning shinobi," he listed off, handing over the report and tried again to prod the chuunin next to him while also kicking the sleeping man not so gently under the table.

It didn't work.

Kakashi looked over the offered report far longer than necessary, in Iruka's opinion. It had a total of nine logs recorded; none of which were notable and the longer he looked, the edgier the chuunin became.

"Is your position here permanent?" Kakashi spoke at last, eyes lifting to watch Iruka expectantly. Again with the mild tone.

"Just the next two weeks," he answered, somewhat cautiously, there was definitely something hidden there.

"Ah, and after that?"

"...after?"

"Will you be returning to the missions desk?" he prompted.

...Had Hayase not explained? Iruka had filed the appropriate papers to the village treasury and figured the other chuunin would inform Kakashi, along with the others working the desk, that he was taking over Iruka's responsibilities.

"No," Iruka replied simply, job swaps, shift swaps, even at the last minute were ordinary and generally didn't arouse questions as to why.

He seriously hoped Kakashi wasn't about to ask.

"I see," that same damn tone was used and this time Iruka could interpret its meaning via the calculating look now being aimed at him.

_Shit_.

He was trying to figure Iruka out. Kakashi was very good at puzzles, if left with even half the pieces for too long, he would eventually put it all together.

"My rent is less now," he hastily began, fear spurring him into nervous speech. "And with the staff changes at the academy I've taken on further responsibilities," technically true, though he wasn't sure his personal mission of organising the supply room (despite the mess Funeno had left it in before retiring) would count for most, "and Hayase is in need of steady work to support his family, and I had some to spare," he stopped talking abruptly, aware that amusement had all but taken over the other man's expression.

"I understand," Kakashi said with a nod, handing back the log. "How long has this one been asleep?" he indicated to the _somehow still sleeping_ chuunin.

Iruka blinked at the topic change. "A little over three hours," he supplied, shaking his head; he was going to enjoy telling Kotetsu about the Hokage's visit.

"Hmm...you'll be sure to tell him I stopped by?" his smirk was evident behind the mask and Iruka felt an answering smile tug at his lips.

"Of course."

"Excellent, I'll be off then, Iruka-sensei. There are several hungry dogs at home that aren't going to feed themselves; though they could," he mumbled the last part as an after thought and Iruka couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his lips.

This kind of interaction was a lot easier, or maybe it was down to the fact that the other man was departing that was putting Iruka at ease, "you better hurry home then, Kakashi-san."

The man 'hmmed' his agreement, stepping back in preparation of leaving, "I have to purchase the promised feast, first," he said, lifting his hand in farewell as he turned away.

"Old man Tatsui's is closed for the day," Iruka called, retaking his seat and setting the log to one side, "they'll have to settle for run of the mill meat ends at this hour."

Kakashi, who had turned to go, did a complete one eighty at Iruka's words; staring at him intently for an uncomfortably long moment. Iruka returned the look, and was about to ask if there was a problem, when the other man gave a short shrug, turned, and wandered off into the growing darkness with a vague goodnight.

It took Iruka a full five minutes of staring into the darkness after the man before what he had said, or more importantly, just where he'd dredged that piece of information from, clicked in his mind

_"Fuck."_

–

Kakashi never did buy the dinner his ninken had eagerly been waiting for. Their usually attentive master stood just inside the doorway of the Hokage chambers, his gaze distant as he ignored the whines of the pack. After several minutes where Kakashi failed to give them an adequate answer as to why he'd returned empty handed, all but Pakkun dispersed with growls of disappointment.

"Boss? You alive in there?" the pug eyed Kakashi cautiously, approaching after a moment and giving him a quick sniff. "You don't appear to be injured, poisoned or drunk," he summed up, his eyes sharpening into a glare, "so where the hell is our foo-"

"Stop talking," Kakashi instructed abruptly, motioning with his hand as he finally entered the room, heading straight for the overly plush sofa and sitting down heavily. When nothing further followed, Pakkun trotted after him, jumping up next to the silent man and making a show of how angry he was.

He was completely and utterly ignored.

"You summoned us for _paperwork_ , Kakashi. We memorised that damn treaty and now it's time for you to pay up, we did our end—"

"Pakkun," Kakashi interrupted, meeting his gaze for the first time and looking for once like he was actually tuned in, "have you met Iruka-sensei?"

"What?"

"Iruka-sensei, he teaches at the academy; tanned, too-tight pony tail, slightly shorter than me...has a tendency to shout at people?"

Pakkun stared at Kakashi, torn between being dumbfounded by the oddball query and pissed-off that the man was still disregarding his own questions.

"Iruka-sensei?" he repeated slowly, "not that I recall." He could tell that this information was somehow important to the man, Kami only knew why, but while he'd heard of this Iruka, mostly via Naruto, he had yet to met him.

"Interesting."

The pug begged to differ and after a lengthy pause he gave up in disgust, dispersing with a few choice parting words which fell on deaf ears.

-

Iruka spent half the night trying to think of ways to explain away his unusual knowledge of where Kakashi shopped for his dog food. The words had been thoughtless. He'd literally _not thought_ before speaking and his mind just provided the information; coming up with what he knew of Kakashi's ninken and their eating habits automatically.

If Tatsui was the owner of a pet store, a butcher or even one of the many market stalls in the village it would have been fine. But he wasn't. Tatsui was a rare book collector and trader. At the prime old age of sixty-eight the ex-nin owned one of the oldest and rarest book collections in all of fire country, it was what he was known for.

What was _not_ known was his penchant for hunting. He called it training and those who weren't in on his hobby simply smiled indulgently when he bragged about his 'training trips', but most thought he was _that guy_ , the one who used to be a ninja and, now that he was ageing, was desperately clinging onto the past. He was anything but.

Dream Iruka had been privy to that information; however, real Iruka wasn't. He only knew Tatsui because the older man had been so helpful when Iruka had assigned essays on the history of Konoha only to find the academy held very few books on the subject. He'd never been informed of the ex-nins keen interest in hunting. And he certainly didn't know that Kakashi's ninken prided his catches as the best around. It was something about the way he cured the meat, he remembered, and Tatsui always kept a stash set aside for them.

But he didn't _know that_.

It wasn't common knowledge and he wasn't sure how many others, if any, knew he even sold it on the side.

By Kakashi's reaction to his slip, Iruka's burgeoning theory about the Infinite Tsukuyomi was practically confirmed. Somehow, between the genjutsu and his desires, they'd come up with something strikingly similar to the true-to-life Hatake Kakashi.

It was a scary realisation for many reasons and, before he'd go into them, Iruka decided he wanted undeniable proof. He needed to know that he wasn't somehow making assumptions, that these weren't just a random set of coincidences; he needed to find out just how screwed he was.

–

Iruka wasn't a bad cook per-say, if he had to describe his kitchen skills, though, he definitely wouldn't be one to boast. If there were levels, for instance, he would be genin when it came to cooking a meal. He put the effort in, knew the concept, had all the potential, but when put into practise he was distracted, easily confused and was very good at setting things on fire.

Tonight's attempt was no exception. He was trying for a simple egg fried noodle dish with steamed vegetables; what he had was...well, the noodles were definitely fried. He wasn't entirely sure what was happening with the vegetables, he'd somehow managed to steam them to the point where they had turned to mush; no longer discernible from each other and he remembered putting several different kinds in.

If it were anyone but Naruto joining him this evening he'd have binned the lot; instead he combined the two and added generous amounts of ginger and soy sauce. So long as the flavour overrode any evidence of his mistakes it was one of his better efforts to be honest. And Naruto was more than used to his dinners; the blond was probably the only person Iruka knew who was as much of a disaster in the kitchen as he was.

Iruka flipped the mess of food over in the pan, making sure the sauce was thoroughly mixed through, before removing it from the stove, and then set about serving it onto the waiting plates.

Naruto was due any minute for their early dinner catch-up. Iruka had gate duty again this evening so it had to be an early one, and the blond was always punctual when food was involved.

No sooner had he placed the food laden plates upon the table than Naruto's distinct knock sounded against his door.

"It's open," the chuunin called. The door was opened and Naruto cautiously poked his head around the gap, as if checking to see if the coast was clear before he spotted Iruka, grinning back at the bemused look he was sending his way.

"Iruka-sensei!" There was something like relief in his voice and he opened the door fully to step through,"wow, this place looks great!"

Iruka followed his gaze, eyebrows raised. The flat really wasn't much; not counting his reasons for moving there, anyway. The front door opened directly into the kitchen, possibly the most spacious room in the place, then led into the modest living area that was half the size of his previous apartment's, but with double wooden doors at its far end which opened up onto a landing. The owner had used the word balcony, but, seeing as it had barely enough space for three adults, Iruka was going with landing. The archway on the right, placed at the joining of the lounge and kitchen, lead to his bedroom on one side and the bathroom on the other. His laundry was in a cupboard next to his dinning table.

He was more than happy with it yet, personal reasons aside, he wasn't sure it warranted such an enthusiastic 'great'.

As predicted, Naruto shoveled down his meal without complaint and, despite its slightly off putting appearance, it wasn't actually half bad. Crunchy and mushy in places, but not bad. Amid mouthfuls, Naruto filled him in on his ongoing goodwill meetings, and his annoyance at being chosen for such a role, while Iruka shot him fondly exasperated looks while refusing to reply while he ate.

When they were comfortably full, they chatted idly about the upcoming treaty signings that were set to cement the times of peace they were currently enjoying.

"It'll make the changes I want to bring in a lot easier," Naruto was saying, no doubt in his mind he was next in line for the title of Hokage. "All the ground work will be done!"

"All the hard work, you mean?" Iruka teased, standing as he spoke. "Tea?" he asked before Naruto could think of a retort and, since he was busy trying to do just that, the blond only nodded in response.

After a few minutes the blond gave up, changing the subject with his next question, "why'd you move anyway, Iruka-sensei?"

The teacher finished pouring the boiling water before half turning to meet Naruto's enquiring gaze. "I needed a change," he answered honestly; well, as honestly as he was going to be without going into detail.

"But it's so _small_."

"I thought you said it looked 'great'?" Iruka argued back with a shake of his head, facing the bench again to start the task of adding cooler water into the teapot.

"Well, yeah, compared to when Kakashi-sensei lived here it does."

As soon as the words registered in Iruka's mind the teapot he'd been lifting fell from his grasp, instinct alone making him turn in time to wear only half of its contents. An unbidden shout of pain left his lips at the same time the scolding hot liquid splashed down his right side, burning a path down his leg. Naruto was at his side in an instant; the blond hastily manoeuvring him through the shattered pieces of the pot that now scattered the floor.

Iruka hadn't even heard it smash.

He hissed when Naruto tried to lower him onto a seat and the blond apologised profusely, sounding stricken. Before he could reassure the boy the burning intensified and it took all his concentration to not yell aloud at the throbbing pain spreading out from his hip, and his expression must have shown it. "Iruka-sensei!" the blonds eyes darted from the still steaming liquid with ceramic remnants strewn across the kitchen floor, to Iruka, and then back again. He didn't appear to have the first clue as to what to do, and Iruka was in no shape to give the blond the any hints, as much as he wanted to. He was on the verge of attempting to speak when Naruto gave a frustrated shout, grabbed a hold of Iruka's arm, and faster than he could blink, the two were standing in the reception hall of Konoha hospital. Naruto supported Iruka on his uninjured side, moving them forward slowly, all the while shrieking for help.

-

Iruka felt wonderful. Happy. He was definitely happy. Heavy, too—but mainly happy.

From his sprawled out position on the hospital bed he could see Naruto just outside the room, yelling at anyone who came within hearing distance to hurry the hell up and get Tsunade or Sakura down here ASAP.

Iruka wanted to tell him it was fine, that whatever the harassed nurse had given him was doing the trick; unfortunately, whenever he opened his mouth to do so he could only laugh. Giggle was probably a better word for the sound he was making, but even high as a kite, Iruka refused to admit he was _giggling_.

The intense burning had drifted to the background and the tingling that remained was pleasant; pacifying, almost. And funny. So was the sight of Naruto, arms flapping in an alarmed manner as his pleas were finally heard and Sakura came charging into view.

"I'm fiiiiiine, Sakura," Iruka laughed (giggled) at the sound of his own voice. It was a contrast to his words because he didn't sound fine at all. He sounded _wasted_.

The pink-haired girl's look of annoyance was quickly replaced with one of concern when her gazed switched from Naruto to the drugged out chuunin on the bed. He was on it, right? He felt so heavy he wouldn't be surprised to find himself sinking through it.

"Iruka-sensei!" Sakura entered the room with Naruto hot on her heels, immediately picking up his chart and reading over the information quickly.

"You can heal it, right Sakura-chan?" "Of course I can, idiot!" she snapped in reply, emphasising her words by smacking Naruto upside the head with the clipboard. "Is that why you've been shouting the ward down?! This is a hospital!"

"But—"

Sakura cut him off with a hard glare.

"Yes, Sakura-chan."

Iruka burst out laughing at the exchange, unable to hold it in any longer, which drew the attention of his ex-students. At their identical looks of concern his laughter grew.

"Y-you...ahahaha," his cheeks ached along with his gut but he couldn't seem to stop himself, "and, haha a-and..." That heavy feeling was causing him to slur most of what was coming out, but it only served to make him laugh harder.

"Umm...Sakura-chan?" Naruto seemed caught between his worry over Iruka and his growing confusion.

"Haha s-s-ome shinoobi you arha..."

"Nurse!"

Oooh Sakura sounded angry.

"Yes, Sakura-sama!"

"What did you give Iruka-sensei? It isn't listed here!"

"Oh!" There was a scrambling noise and Iruka fought against his heavy eyelids, trying to see what was happening while still laughing away to himself. He glimpsed a vial that was produced from the room's small cabinet, then Sakura's screech drowned out whatever the nurse was attempting to say.

"You gave him WHAT?!"

Several things happened next that Iruka's drowsy mind couldn't keep up with. All he knew was that one second he was chuckling away and the next he was being flipped onto his side, his pants were unceremoniously yanked down and a distant stinging pain erupted from his left butt cheek. He was just thinking how unfunny the situation now seemed when the world around him dimmed to black.

–

Iruka came back to consciousness with the undefinable feeling he was forgetting something. It was that niggling feeling, like the time he'd left for the Land of Rivers and couldn't remember if he'd turned his bathroom fan off. The harder he tried to remember it, the less he remembered remembering whatever it was he couldn't remember. He blamed the voices that were speaking in low tones from somewhere in front of him; they were awfully distracting and he glared at them...except he didn't.

"Oh."

Opening his eyes might help, but, before he could complete the action, the low voices rose in volume and started firing questions at him in quick succession.

"Are you okay, Iruka-sensei?"

"How do you feel?"

"Do you need anything?"

"Does anything hurt?"

Iruka finally managed to force his eyes open by the fourth question and he blinked several times as his eyes adjusted to the brightness of the room. The fluorescent lighting was harsh and bright spots floated around the edge of his vision, causing the faces coming into view to have strange glowing auras.

Hospital lighting was the worst. No sooner had the thought passed through his mind than one of the glowing faces disappeared; the lights dimming to a more comfortable level a moment later.

That was so much better.

"Anything else, Iruka-sensei?" the no longer glowing face of Sakura asked when Naruto returned to her side.

"What happened?" speaking felt weird, like there was a disconnect between his brain and mouth.

"That so-called nurse-"

"Naruto!"

"What? Weren't you the one bawling her out earlier?"

"Well maybe if a certain person hadn't of been screaming the hospital down-"

"They weren't doing anything-"

"-and threatening all the staff-"

"Iruka-sensei was in pain-"

"-then maybe she wouldn't have made that mistake, idiot!"

Iruka still had no idea what was going on.

The two nins stopped their glaring competition to look back at him, mumbling their apologies.

"You were treated with morphine," Sakura began. "The nurse was flustered," here she sent a pointed look Naruto's way, "and she didn't check your file for known allergies first, I'm really sorry, Iruka-sensei."

"Okay," Iruka said after a long moment. He wasn't sure that explained much of anything, his memory was fuzzy and again, the more he thought on it, the less distinct it became.

"That'll be the reaction to the counter medication I had to give you, it should wear off by morning."

Iruka frowned at the pink-haired girl, he was sure he hadn't said that aloud.

"Ah...you did, Sensei," she smiled reassuringly at him, "don't worry, with the mix of drugs in your system, plus your bodies trauma from the burns, everything will be a bit fuzzy for a while."

Burns? When did he get brunt?

Naruto and Sakura shared a look that was lost on Iruka and then the latter nodded to her team mate to elaborate.

"You don't remember?" it was Naruto's turn to frown and the chuunin shook his head. It sounded like the kind of thing he should remember. Maybe that was what was niggling at him.

"You were serving the tea and, I don't know, you kinda just dropped it. You dodged most of it, but it hit your hip and went all the way down your right leg..."

He was in hospital because he dropped a teapot?

"A teapot filled with boiling water!" The word teapot echoed in Iruka's mind, the reverberation of it filling him with humiliation the more it went on.

"You had deep second-degree burns, Sensei. It was far more serious than it sounds."

They were trying to comfort him, he knew that, but what kind of ninja ends up in the hospital, with one of the leading healers in the village tending to him, because he dropped. _A. Tea. Pot_.

"Trust me, I've seen far, far more embarrassing things in my time here," Sakura assured him with a wince that severed to both calm him and pique his interest over what the girl must have witnessed in her role at the hospital.

He still felt like a complete idiot.

"I healed the deeper tissue damage and you've already had one round of antibiotics, we'll wait for them to circulate then work on the surface damage tomorrow," she stood back from the bed, giving his arm a comforting squeeze as she went. "You'll need at least one physio appointment, just to make sure your mobility is what it should be, but you should be back to normal in a few days."

"Thank you, Sakura," the words came out more mechanically than heartfelt, he really was thankful, it was just very hard to show it when you were in the midst of self pity.

"Any time, Sensei," she shot him a smile, clearly not taking any offence, and patted Naruto a little too hard on the arm before leaving the two of them to it.

Naruto pulled up a chair, sitting directly in front of Iruka who was laying on his side, his left side, which he now knew was to keep the pressure off his recovering right side, but it also gave him no where else to look bar for at the anxious boy staring at him silently.

"I'm fine, Naruto," he said with a tired smile that didn't come close to meeting his eyes. As much as he wanted to put the blond's mind at ease, the strength to do so alluded him. A new expression flickered across Naruto's face, making Iruka sigh. "Don't do that," he chastised softly. The blond had nothing to feel guilty about, he always did that, taking on infeasible responsibilities; it was a teapot, not an enemy nin.

"Even so-"

"It was an accident," Iruka interrupted, "an accident due to my own foolishness I might add." "But I-" "What? Don't think I can handle a little pain?" Naruto was always over protective of him. He understood it, but could never figure out if it was down to his place in the boys life or if he honestly didn't think Iruka could manage himself.

"No, that's not it at all!" came Naruto's vehement denial and Iruka cursed the drugs influence, he seemed incapable of having a single thought that didn't also spew forth from his lips.

"It's just..." Naruto looked off to the side, studying the wall, "you're Iruka-sensei... I don't want bad things to happen to you, you know? Not if I can help it."

"I know," the chuunin conceded, keeping his tone light as he said the next part. "If it helps, I hold no grudge against you for your failure to protect me from my teapot."

Naruto's gaze met his once more and for a moment they both stared at each other, trying, with obvious difficulty, to keep their expressions neutral. They lasted for a good thirty seconds before they broke; their loud laughter breaking the silence of the room.

The nurse had to come by three times to remind Naruto that visiting hours were over for the evening; the third time being the charm as the blond finally said his goodbyes, leaving with the promise to check in with him before leaving on his mission the following day. Iruka thought it was probably his raving fit earlier that kept them from kicking him out sooner; the staff here were usually extremely strict. Regardless of the scene he'd caused, it warmed Iruka's heart to know Naruto would go to such lengths for him; silly as the injury may be. If the reverse had happened he was sure he would have reacted in much the same manner; though with a touch more grace.

_Grace_ , that was something he sorely lacked right now. His mind wasn't the fuzzy mess it was earlier, yet it still refused to remember the exact events. His body felt like dead weight, relaxed so fully that if an enemy were to approach him at a slow crawl he still wouldn't have time to move. And, of course, whatever mix of drugs he currently had swirling about in his system had dissolved the filter between his brain and mouth to the point where he wasn't sure which parts he was speaking aloud and which he was keeping to himself. Iruka was rather looking forward to the nights sleep ahead; especially the part where he'd awaken with regained control over himself.

He was just starting to drift off when the noise of the door sliding open roused him.

"I just need to set up a second round of antibiotics," the same nurse who had pestered Naruto into leaving smiled at him kindly, setting about her task without further comment. Iruka watched as she hung the bag of medication onto the I.V stand and then deftly hooked the line up to the splint in his arm. "It'll run for around an hour."

"Thanks," he said politely, albeit blearily.

She was just checking the bag's connection when the door opened again and, not even turning around, the nurse told their unseen guest that visiting hours were well and truly over for the night.

Iruka couldn't see who it was with the nurse blocking his line of sight, but he was hedging his bet on it being Naruto. It would be just like him to have a sudden bout of guilt and return.

"Maa, I'll only stay a moment." Or not. The voice immediately set Iruka on edge, but, in his mellow state, there was very little he could do about it, and the way the woman jumped when she turned made the chuunin feel as if he should stand to attention, yet he didn't have the slightest clue as to why.

"O-of course, Hokage-sama."

The Hokage..?

That niggling feeling was back.

"Just checking in on you, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka still couldn't see the speaker, nor could he quite place the feeling of something akin to panic that was slowly, but surely, rising within him.

The nurse left the room with a series of bows, and it wasn't until she was gone that his visitor stepped forward to where Iruka could see him.

Oh.

Nonono _nononono_...

Everything came flooding back in such a rush that Iruka had to close his eyes. Kakashi. The dream. Dogs. Oh god, the teapot—he had inadvertently moved into the man's old flat! He cracked one eye open in the hopes it was a drug induced hallucination. It wasn't. He really didn't need this right now.

"Fuck, fuck, fuckity- _fuck_."

"Language, Sensei," Kakashi chided although he sounded incredibly amused as he took Naruto's previous seat.

_God no_ , he could deal with anyone else right now. Anyone but Kakashi.

"Anyone but me, hmm?"

Oh fuck, and now everything he was thinking was flying straight out of his mouth and—

"I am so screwed."

"Is that so?" the silver-haired man was smiling an infuriating smile, very obviously enjoying Iruka's lack of control and he leaned forward in his seat. "And why would that be?"

Iruka wanted to scream. He knew thinking of absolutely nothing was pointless, and rather hopeless for him as drugged up as he was; even without the cocktail of medications he was prone to saying the wrong things where Kakashi was involved, lately anyway. Like his thoughtless comments about his dogs. Oh, how Iruka wished he could return to being blissfully unaware.

"What was that about my dogs?"

Fuuuuuck. Okay, if not thinking about Kakashi wasn't an option, what was? He just needed to steer his thoughts in another direction, staying away from anything that could lead to—

"Lead to..?"

How about how annoying the other man was?

Iruka hoped his expression was conveying the actual annoyance he was starting to feel, as opposed to the sheer panic his mind was currently under; scrabbling to find every detail it could on the other man's past misdeeds.

Like the chuunin exams. That had been shitty. Iruka still stood by his opinion from that time, despite the outcome, or maybe because of it. Sure, team seven had grown in leaps and bounds through the process, but he believed that had they been held back until the following exam all three would have sailed through.

"...you're bringing that up?"

Or...or how shitty the silver-haired man had been to Naruto afterwards. Iruka had been on the receiving end of a number of rants from the blond boy over Kakashi's dismissal of him after the chuunin exam preliminaries. Naruto had given him an almost blow-by-blow account of how Kakashi fobbed him off on Ebisu-sensei for training so he could focus his attention on Sasuke. It had been a serious sore spot for a long time. Every time Iruka thought about it now he couldn't help thinking that if Jiraiya hadn't of come along when he had, Naruto wouldn't have stood a chance in the finals.

"That...was not my intention."

Iruka stole a glance at Kakashi, then quickly looked away to a spot just over the man's shoulder. He seemed to have hit home a little with his last train of thought and he tried to stay firm; picturing thirteen-year old Naruto in all his teenage rage. Unfortunately, as with Naruto, Iruka wasn't one to hold grudges and he was never good at intentionally digging into others. He couldn't stop now, but maybe he could soften his thoughts/words a little because, in all honesty, Naruto hadn't held onto his anger for that long—how could he when not long after he had started learning from a Sanin. Legend he may be, but Kakashi was no Sanin.

"Ouch, Iruka-sensei, are you trying to hurt my feelings?"

While Iruka knew the questions aim was to lighten the mood, there was a genuine note to it and his answer was no, he wasn't trying to hurt him; not that he truly thought he was—Kakashi wasn't exactly delicate. What he was trying to do, desperately, was to get the other man to _leave_.

"That hurts my delicate feelings, too."

Iruka glared for all his was worth, wishing, something he did a lot of lately, that he could jutsu the man away through force of will. He was quickly running out of misgivings to hold against Kakashi. The only thing he could think of now was insanely petty and didn't really count, though in his desperation to keep other thoughts at bay, he ran with it.

"You don't even think I'm capable of defending myself," Kakashi had leapt in without giving Iruka a chance to stop Pein's attack that time.

"Now you're just grasping at straws."

He really was. But it was better than the alternative. Why couldn't the other man just leave already? "Alright, alright," Kakashi said, waving his hands as if in surrender. "I'll leave you to rest," he stood up, tilting his head and studying Iruka with that damnable calculating look. "I'll leave this puzzle for another day," he said in parting and promptly teleported away.

–

The puzzle Iruka presented was getting juicier with every encounter. The recent one had thrown Kakashi more than a few curve balls that raised further questions and derailed all of his current theories. After the ninken slip, Kakashi had tried all avenues to figure out how the sensei had happened upon that particular piece of information, and all came up short. He could count on one hand the amount of people he knew who also bought from Tatsui, and of them, only two were aware Kakashi was a customer. It wasn't a secret exactly, but it certainly wasn't common knowledge. Kakashi filed the information away, knowing that once the bigger mystery was solved all these little questions would be answered along with it.

Then he'd been informed of a disturbance at the hospital; one that was being caused by Konoha's Number One Unpredictable, Noisy Ninja, and a slightly worse for wear Iruka-sensei.

It was the first time Kakashi truly appreciated the perks of being Hokage. He had requested a full briefing from the treating medic, wanting to go in with as much information as possible, and he'd been only mildly surprised when Sakura appeared a while later. The pink-haired girl had given him her full run-down, along with a lengthy rant on Naruto's behaviour, and her feelings on the subject. After he was satisfied that Iruka was okay, the damage done more superficial than anything else, Kakashi had dismissed her, leaving the tower to position himself discretely within the hospital.

Initially his intention had only been to check on the man, maybe gather more intelligence if the opportunity arose, but what he ended up getting was his biggest insight yet. Although Sakura had mentioned Iruka's drugged up state, and the cause of it, Kakashi hadn't quite been prepared for what he was met with. Every single thought the chuunin had had spilled straight from his mouth without his consent and, therefore, without any consideration. It had given Kakashi a lot to mull over. It was now undeniable that the root of Iruka's strange behaviour was Kakashi—that was now fact. But it didn't have anything to do with his title, as he'd originally thought. He still couldn't say for sure what it did pertain to, but it was evident that it was stemming from a personal issue rather than a professional one. It had never occurred to him that this might be the case, and now every interaction, and every piece of gathered information, needed to be looked at in this new light.

Kakashi now sat in the Hokage's office, _his_ office, idly spinning from side to side in the chair as he replayed what the chuunin had inadvertently revealed that evening. It was obvious Iruka was aware of his slip about Kakashi's ninken, he knew he wasn't suppose to know of it which made the fact that he knew all the more confusing. What was it that he'd said..?

"'My thoughtless comment'...hmm..."

Then there was the disclosure that Iruka had inadvertently moved into Kakashi's old flat; something he himself had been aware of when he'd read the chuunin's change of address form. Kakashi hadn't lived there long, but the private space had become somewhat of a haven after the war so he'd found it amusing that Iruka would be making the small flat his home.

The man in question seemed to find the idea horrifying, though. The silver-haired man was undecided on whether he should be offended, or not. Possibly not, seeing as straight after the reveal the man had suffered second-degree burns, owing, if Iruka's mumblings were anything to go by, to that exact little fact. It was unsettling to think that whatever was troubling the chuunin about Kakashi had the power to drive him to the point where he'd come to harm over something as trivial as a flat.

Maybe not so trivial to Iruka.

There was a slow-burning suggestion of a thought forming within Kakashi's mind; one that was carefully piecing together all the fragments of what he'd discovered. It was incomplete, and barely there, but as he gave more thought toward it, it grew steadily and soon had his undivided attention.

When he finally broke out of his internal contemplation he was surprised to see the grand clock in the corner read 3:07am. Had he really been sitting here for near-on seven hours? It certainly hadn't helped provide any answers; providing, instead, a slew of new theories which he'd apparently spent close to seven hours meticulously whittling down to a few main contenders. Proving them would be...difficult. The likelihood of him being able to extract the needed information was doubtful at best.

It seemed his curiosity had landed him far deeper into this mystery than he'd initially been prepared for, his annoying penchant for figuring things out wouldn't allow him to walk away, especially knowing he was somehow at its centre.

Kakashi brought his thumb to his mouth, biting down on it until he drew blood and then his hands moved without thought, going through well practised hand signs before he could over-think his decision.

"This better be good, Boss."

–

If not for the drugs, Iruka was sure he wouldn't have slept last night, but thankfully he had. He awoke clear headed and therefore _mortified_. Parts of the previous night were missing, or blurry, but what was there told enough of the story to have the first words out of his mouth be a lengthy string of swear words.

He had unknowingly moved into Kakashi's old flat. This had to be the universe's cruellest joke yet. The house was supposed to be his step forward; it was his reset, his new beginning, but now it was crumbling around him with the reveal that it had previously belonged to Kakashi. The feeling of comfort it gave him initially was now eclipsed by his somewhat irrational thought that he'd merely been picking up on the other man's presence.

And Kakashi was on to him. Iruka had let enough slip last night that the other man wouldn't be letting go any time soon, as he'd pointed out with his farewell message.

Iruka was torn on what to do next. On one side, he was wondering what the logistics would be if he were to relocate to another village, but the idea was rapidly being beaten down by his resurging stubbornness. Hadn't he done enough running? Not to mention that it had yet to actually get him anywhere, was he really so weak that he would, could, leave his home entirely so as to not have to deal with The Dream?

The other side of him was throwing its hands up in defeat. Kakashi wanted to figure him out, did he? Well then, why not enlighten him? Burden him with Iruka's Dream, and all that came along with it, then stand back and watch the pieces fall where they may. The aftermath would undoubtedly be strained, and uncomfortable, between the two, though it was a sure fire way of getting the man to back off.

Then there was a piece of him, right in the middle, that was telling him sternly to suck it up. This was all on him, it was his dream, his feelings; there was no reason to involve Kakashi. There was no reason to involve anyone. Iruka should be strong enough to look at Kakashi and see who he was, not who Iruka wanted him to be. He had had a glimpse of a life that was everything he never knew he wanted but he had had that glimpse. If he were to share his experience with the real Kakashi, force his feelings onto the man, everything would be ruined.

"It was my dream, _my_ problem..." and he should keep it as such.

Iruka slowly sat up, ignoring his protesting body as sensitive skin pulled tight with the action, and he scooted back on the bed, leaning heavily against his pillows.

The hospital door clattering open suddenly, disrupted any further thoughts.

"...Bull?" the giant hulk of a dog glared balefully at him from the doorway, making no move to either enter the room or retreat from it. The nin dog had a message attached to his lethal looking collar so Iruka deduced his purpose in the ward, "er...is that for me?" he asked, though he didn't expect a spoken answer. He knew the dog was capable, but he also knew the massive bulldog only used verbal communication when he deemed it necessary—which wasn't often.

Or not, Iruka quickly corrected himself, this Bull could be mute or as chatty as Naruto— _he didn't know either way_.

Their stand-off lasted well passed the awkward stage and Iruka was considering calling for a nurse when Bull was joined by a second dog.

"Pakkun?"

"You're supposed to actually give him the scroll, Bull," the small pug's gruff voice always surprised Iruka, he wasn't sure what he expected him to sound like, but it wasn't _that_.

"The teacher knows my name." Iruka felt like he'd been doused in ice water at Bull's statement and he tried to keep his expression from showing it, carefully crafting his features into what he hoped resembled general puzzlement.

It hurt his face.

"Does he now?"

"That's what I said."

"Hmm..."

Being the sole focus of two inquisitive nin dogs was extremely disconcerting, particularly when said dogs were pulling off the same calculated look as their master.

"Naruto told me about you," Iruka said impulsively, the last thing he wanted was for Kakashi's dogs to become curious; they'd no doubt report it back to their master and Iruka was still undecided on how he was going to proceed on that front. He was potentially too late, because if dogs had eyebrows, the two sitting in the doorway would have theirs raised to the heavens as they eyed him sceptically.

They shared a look that was lost on Iruka, and then Pakkun spoke, "What, all ten of us?"

It was Iruka's turn to raise his eyebrows, staring back at the pug with his own sceptical look. The small dog was testing him, but for what purpose?

"Ten?" he pretended to mull over the number, "let's see, there's you two," he held up two fingers and then proceeded to list off the ninken, ending with Bisuke. "That's eight, by my count. Unless there are others Naruto failed to mention?"

"Interesting," Bull said after a moment, his tone sounding as though he couldn't have found Iruka's knowledge of the ninken any less interesting if he tried. The chuunin didn't take offence, Bull had the emotional range of a teaspoon, whenever he lowered himself to speaking it was in the same monotone no matter what the subject. It was kind of his charm.

"Very interesting," Pakkun agreed, sounding in comparison just that, very interested.

Bull seemed to take his accord as a sign of some sort, standing to all fours and approaching the bed. "From the Boss," he intoned when he reached Iruka, shifting his head back to give the chuunin easier access.

Cautiously, Iruka removed the scroll, thanking him politely, and then watched as the nin dogs exited without another word.

The visit made it clear to Iruka that he not only needed to keep a tighter rein on what came out of his mouth, but he also needed to be weary of Kakashi's ninken. They had been told something, that much was obvious, and they were clearly in on Kakashi's personal mission of figuring him out.

Which wasn't going to make things any easier.

Shaking his head, Iruka turned his attention to the delivered scroll, deftly unrolling it before he could think to much about what it might contain; his mind was set at ease as he read the header. Well, it looked like he had the time he needed to evaluate his options and be as self-examining as he pleased—he was officially on medical leave.

–

Kakashi dozed lightly in his chair as Shizune read out his agenda for the day, half an ear tuned into what she was saying while the rest of his interest lay in just how long his dogs thought a simple recon mission should take. It was possible they were punishing him by taking as much time as they desired, Pakkun had made a Very Big Deal out of being summoned for what he deemed a 'pre-genin messenger service of a mission' so perhaps Kakashi shouldn't have expected them to be prompt about it.

"Kakashi-sama?"

"Yes?" Kakashi replied without opening his eyes and he swore he could feel her twitch.

"Are you even paying attention?"

"Of course," he answered, eyes still firmly shut and a small smile tugging at his lips beneath his mask.

His assistant took a deep, calming breath before continuing her explanation of the 'do's and don't's' he was expected to adhere to at the upcoming public meeting due to take place the following day. Despite appearances he was taking it all in, he needed the help since dealing with civilians really wasn't his strong suit and the last thing he wanted was to appear to be a weak leader.

"Thank you, Shizune," Kakashi said when the woman was done, opening his eyes at last to give her a genuine smile which she returned.

"You're wel—arggh! Stop doing that!"

Ah. His ninken had finally returned.

Kakashi let out a small chuckle as Shizune glared through the rising chakra smoke, one hand on her chest as she no doubt tried to calm herself. She didn't wait for their muttered apology, simply giving the silver-haired man a swift bow and exiting the room.

"There's something fishy about that sensei," Pakkun said without prompting as soon as the door clicked shut.

Kakashi's eyebrows rose in surprise. Considering the effort he'd had to go through just to get him to do it, he was quietly amazed the pug wasn't putting up a bigger fight over having discovered something.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows atop the desk, "tell me."

"He knew Bull by name," the silver-haired man sat up a little straighter, eyes flicking to Bull before refocusing on the still speaking pug, "I tried to trick him yet he was able to list all of us, says Naruto told him."

"Really..." Kakashi said faintly, trying and failing to recall a time where Naruto had met his ninken. He'd seen them in action, sure, but actually met them all...no.

"He recognised you on sight?" he directed the question at Bull, wanting confirmation and he received it with a nod of his large head.

"Interesting."

"That's what I said." Bull stated. 

"Either way, he does appear to be hiding something," Pakkun went on, "he doesn't have a very good poker face, his panic was fleeting, but clear, when he let slip Bull's name."

"I like him." Both Kakashi and Pakkun shifted their surprised gazes to Bull who stared back steadily, "he smells nice."

–

Following the completion of his healing, Iruka had been discharged with a detailed care plan he wasn't entirely sure he needed. He suspected it was the nurse's way of trying to get back in Sakura's good graces and, since her return that morning, she'd been doing everything By The Book; including her insistence that she follow protocol and take him to the hospital exit via wheelchair.

"Thank you," Iruka said when she came to a stop just inside the doors, practically leaping to his feet.

"Do you have someone to accompany you home? It's our policy that-"

"Yes, of course," the words came out quickly, making him sound either irritated or like he was lying, which he was.

"Are they here?"

"Ah, no, not yet, I'll sit on the bench outside and wait."

"Our policy is in place for a reason."

"I know, and I promise you I will wait on that bench."

Iruka kept his promise, he sat dutifully for all of six minutes before deciding the coast was clear and he could sneak off unnoticed. He set a leisurely pace once he was out of sight of the hospital, his movement mostly unimpaired by his freshly healed burns. The only real reminder was that he was aware of his leg, it wasn't painful, but it was there.

He was actively trying not to think about all the thoughts clambering around inside his mind, he could do that when he was alone and safely enclosed within Kakashi's flat.

Iruka stopped dead in his tracks.

"My flat," he affirmed aloud. "It's _mine_ now." The last part came out surprisingly defensive and he shook it off, continuing his trek forward but, at the last minute, made a sharp right. It was the longer path home, but it was also the path that would lead him passed the admin buildings.

Something he'd been dwelling on since the dog food incident surged to the forefront of his jumbled thoughts; the idea that real aspects of Kakashi and his life had been implanted into Iruka's dream. He wanted to know. Needed to. Because being completely unaware of where the man lived punched a giant hole in his theory, of all the details to get wrong, the genjutsu had messed up the man's _address._

The idea, and all its relevant questions, had slowly been simmering in the back of his mind and right now was pushing forward with a plan of action.

The plan would undoubtedly prove his case, but did he dare? Technically, he could, he had the clearance after all, but should he? It was the one thing he could come up with that would be undeniably definitive. There was just no way he could correctly dream up Kakashi's Anbu identifier and code.

With that in mind, Iruka walked determinedly toward the building coming into view. Once he was through the entry way he nodded distractedly to an exiting jounin and then swiftly made his way to the lower levels, following along the dingy corridor and, with only a hint of hesitation, the chunnin opened the fifth door down, ducking through it and eyeing the darkened area beyond the barrier.

There was no one here. Quickly he lifted his hand to press against the barrier, sending out a tendril of chakra and with a flicker, the barrier dropped long enough for him to enter before surging back to life behind him. A second later the room was bathed in light and the chuunin moved down the isle designated R9A36, counting the cabinets as he went. It was a good thing he'd spent the better part of last summer updating and relocating files in this place, he knew exactly where to look.

Iruka slowed to a stop just over half way down, casting a cursory glance around and taking a deep breath as he pulled open the third draw down. To an outsider their system was completely nonsensical, you could decode and cross reference until you were blue in the face and you'd still have to start at one end and hope for the best.

Iruka sorted through the mess of scrolls, checking the dates on the ends before finding two that were possible matches. He closed his eyes, picturing the mask he'd been privy to in his dream world and then slowly, very slowly, he began to unroll the first of his picks.

"No..." the photo attached at the top bore no resemblance to what he recalled and he speedily re-rolled the scroll, placing it back in the draw. He then pulled out the second one, the only other one that could possibly match with the time frame.

Again, Iruka slowly drew the paper open, not wanting to gain any knowledge other than what he was seeking. The image staring back at Iruka was one he knew, or dreamt, it didn't matter either way because _there it was_.

"I should not know this!" he hissed, hands shaking as he thought hard over whether or not to check the corresponding code. In the end he was in favour. He'd wanted definitive after all.

"9310704RO," Iruka recalled from memory, repeating the code as more and more of the sheet was revealed, "9310704RO, 9310704RO, 9310704RO, 93107...0...4...RO."

There it was, in black and white. He was—

"Completely and utterly _screwed_."

–

Pakkun was so very confused. He'd self appointed himself the mission of shadowing the chuunin-sensei this morning, something Kakashi had been annoyingly smug about, and so far it was proving...confusing. His actions were highly suspect yet...not? Yes, the teacher appeared to have a secret agenda for entering the administration department but, as he'd witnessed, it wasn't sabotage, espionage or other types of crimes against the village. He seemed to be confirming something for himself, something Pakkun wasn't entirely clear on.

Iruka had known Kakashi's ANBU code before he'd even fully opened the file, had recognised Kakashi's ANBU mask and, the confusing part, Iruka knew he wasn't suppose to know either of them.

And after making his discovery, Iruka had carefully placed it back with the rest, snapping the cabinet shut and headed up to a far less suspicious archive where he rifled through the housing lists for the past year. Pakkun watched as Iruka found what he was looking for, swore loudly after a quick read through and then proceeded to have a mini meltdown right there and then.

It made the pug incredibly uncomfortable and, in the end, he averted his gaze, waiting for it to pass.

A sudden barked laugh drew Pakkun's attention back to the chuunin who was now sitting on the ground, his back against the storage locker as he stared blankly at the piece of paper he still held.

"Of course," Iruka muttered to himself. " _Of course_. How was the damn Dream supposed to fill in information that hadn't happened yet?" As the man finished speaking he let his head fall back against the locker with a dull thud, gazing upwards as he took several deep breaths.

Dream? Pakkun was more confused than ever and he slunk down between shelves as the chuunin made signs of getting to his feet; not so carefully shoving the paperwork back where he'd found it once he was standing.

Iruka lingered for only a moment more and then he was off, Pakkun following discretely in his wake.

–

Returning to Kakashi's flat later that day was difficult, mainly because Iruka still couldn't stop referring to it as 'Kakashi's', and partly because of everything he'd uncovered on his way here. Iruka spent a long time simply staring around the place upon entering, looking for some sort of clue, or evidence, that would allude to the other man; perhaps something that screamed 'Kakashi used to live here, how did you not notice?!'? But his fears were unjustified. There wasn't a single thing in the flat that could have indicated to him that Kakashi once lived here and after a while he slowly relaxed.

His kitchen had been cleaned, he was guessing by Naruto, and a new teapot sat in pride of place on his table. Also Naruto's doing, and that wasn't a guess; the gaudy orange colour of it told him all he needed to know. Nevertheless, he set about making a pot of tea, ignoring the memories of when he'd last done this, and the events that followed. Tea first, then he could get back to his mind-fuck of a life.

Once his task was done, Iruka made himself comfortable on the couch, cupping the warm mug as he settled in. He honestly didn't know where to start. A part of him still wanted to run, pathetic as it was; a shinobi should pick fight over flight and, in this case, flight was only prolonging his problem, and made the fact that he kept coming back to it ludicrous.

He _was_ trying to move forward, but all these slips, Kakashi and his damn curious nature and the now confirmed fact that Infinite Tsukuyomi had drawn from the real world to form his dream...it was all too much.

In the end he knew, it wasn't his apartment, it wasn't the close proximity to Kakashi—it all came down to him.

Running wasn't going to get him anywhere if the thing he was running from was himself. He needed to change, no amount of changing his environment was going to solve this; there was no easy way out. All he was achieving was a momentary lull for the problem when what he needed was to stop letting it paralyse his present.

Telling the truth was well and truly off the table.

He would have to accept it for what it was. A dream. Jutsu induced or not, it was only a dream.

Perhaps Iruka's first job was to acknowledge his pre-dream feelings for Kakashi. However much he had originally convinced himself they weren't there, now he knew better. He was being honest when he told himself they were only odd, fleeting thoughts, idle day dreams, really—but they had been there, and not nearly as buried as he liked to think. Kakashi had never done anything to encourage them, or even warrant them; there truly hadn't been enough interaction between them for that. It was Iruka's idea of him, one he'd drawn together from the scattered information he had of the man, most of it second-hand.

His day dream had supplied the perfect foundation for the Infinite Tsukuyomi to work with, he would have been content to live out the rest of his existence within that world.

Now he had to separate the two Kakashi's in his mind, to see the truth of the man through the fictionalised version he'd envisioned, not only in The Dream, but in his own personal dreams as well. Iruka now knew it was the genjutsu that had filled in the truer parts of dream-Kakashi, giving him an insight into the man he had no right in knowing. Maybe, Iruka surmised, it had drawn from others also trapped within it's hold, others who had known Kakashi in all the ways he himself always wanted too.

It hurt more than he thought it should, seeing as none of it had actually taken place. No matter what he did it still felt real to _him_ , he remembered it as if he had lived it and the pang in his chest made him realise how much further he'd let himself fall amidst his attempts to run from this problem.

"It never happened," he returned to his mantra, voice stern, "it was only a dream..."

–

Kakashi stared at Pakkun, certain he had misheard, "what?"

"You heard me, you should drop this Iruka-sensei thing," the pug was dead serious and Kakashi's brain actually took a moment to let that fact sink in.

"You agreed there was something going on," he began slowly, fully intending to continue, but he was quickly overridden by a gruff voice.

"I did, and now I know there is and you need to back off. It's none of your business." "None of my business? You—"

"That's right. Now, you said something yesterday about us accompanying you—"

"Wait, wait, wait," Kakashi interrupted with a wave of his hands, "you can't just say that and expect me to drop it, what did you find out?"

"Nothing," Pakkun didn't so much as twitch at the lie, "now let's move onto—"

" _Pakkun_ ," the silver-haired man practically growled, and he was surprised to receive an actual growl in response.

"Did Iruka say something?" he tried, sounding vaguely desperate and for the longest time Pakkun simply stared at him, his gaze searching until finally, the dog sighed.

"I may have overhead a few things."

"Like what?" Kakashi asked immediately, springing forward in his seat and scattering a couple of scrolls from their piles in the process.

"Kakashi...this thing, Iruka's thing, is far more complicated than you think."

"I know that, if it were something simple I'd have it figured out by now."

Pakkun's eyes narrowed in on him, "I'm not telling you what I know. It's not my place, and it's not going to solve anything." T

he former copy-nin could only stare, "you're seriously not going to tell me?"

"Let it go, Kakashi."

" _Seriously_?"

The pug glared.

How was he supposed to do that? It wasn't even about the puzzle any more; it hadn't been since his visit to the hospital, despite his parting jab. This had become personal because he was somehow involved; once he'd ascertained he was the at the root of Iruka's strange behaviour he'd single mindedly set out to fix it. The only thing holding him back right now was that he was unsure of what to fix. 

"Boss," Pakkun's tone spoke volumes, he knew where the man's train of thought was and where it would inevitably lead, "you can't fix this."

"I..." Kakashi struggled with that statement, he was sure if he just had all the facts….

This was one of those lines. The type he usually didn't see until he was ten miles passed it and half buried in a self-dug grave with his foot firmly placed in his mouth. Pakkun always had a knack for pointing those out to him and, maybe this time, he'd heed the warning and relent before it was too late.

Maybe.

–

It took Iruka several days but, by the end of his medical leave, he'd realised that acceptance didn't mean rejecting The Dream altogether. In fact, it was probably a big part of what was holding him back. The dreamt memories were his; he just needed to work on improving his ability to separate them from his present.

It was all well and good knowing what he should do, what he needed to do, but it was going to be an entirely different thing to action and then achieve. He wasn't in the habit of censoring himself and even under normal circumstances he tended to speak without thinking.

Over the past week he had gradually made headway, starting to redefine The Dream and how it pertained to his life now; the reality being that it didn't. He had started to distance himself from the dream version of himself, keeping dream-Iruka detached from real Iruka. He didn't know these things, he didn't experience these things—dream-Iruka did.

It was confusing at times, but once he got the hang of it, it would be a useful tool. Again, it wasn't an easy fix, but it was as good a beginning as he was going to get. As time went on Iruka was sure it would become easier to set Kakashi apart from what he'd guiltily started referring to as his Kakashi; but the dream version was his, along with their imagined life. He could hold onto it for as long as he required it and, finally, his mind wouldn't be battling his heart.

His confidence level was high enough that his upcoming meeting with the Hokage wasn't causing the stress it had weeks prior. There was still an odd flutter in his chest, but he wasn't battling the urge to run as fast, and as far, as he could in the opposite direction. He sat patiently outside of the office, this time calm and collected, even in the absence of having something to keep him occupied. The guards on duty had no reason to pay him any mind and, while Iruka was sure it was in part to his relaxed nature, he also noted their relaxed nature. It seemed the Rokudaime had had some affect on those around him already, instead of standing on edge, rigid in their posture, the two ANBU guarding the door looked suspiciously like they were slouching. As he watched the taller of the two straightened, turning their head as if listening in on what was happening beyond the door, and then nodded.

"The Hokage will see you now." Iruka nodded as he stood, thanking the ANBU when they opened the door for him to enter.

"If you bow or utter the 'H' word I'll be forced to keep you on medical leave indefinitely," was Kakashi's greeting as the door shut behind Iruka.

Hastily, he unbent from his attempted bow, a bemused smile on his face.

"Kakashi-san," he addressed the high backed chair, where he presumed the man to be.

"Iruka-sensei!" the silver-haired man swung around in the chair to face him, returning the smile and acting for all the world as if he hadn't already spoken, "what a lovely surprise, take a seat."

"We have an appointment," Iruka pointed out, taking up the offer and seating himself across from the other man.

"Of course," Kakashi reached toward a mound of heaped scrolls, taking the top one and unrolling it as he lay it out flat. "Sakura has cleared you to return to your duties at the academy, but I'm afraid to tell you the gate duty position has been filled permanently in your absence," he said the last part with mock bereavement, as if it truly grieved him to be the one to break such news.

"I'm not sure how I'll get by," Iruka joked flatly, earning himself a hearty laugh from Kakashi, and he couldn't help but be just a little bit proud of how he was handling himself. Small as the progress seemed, it was still progress.

"That's the spirit," the silver-haired man was grinning as he stamped his approval on the form, resealed it, and then handed it across the desk to Iruka. He held it just out of reach so the chuunin had to stand to retrieve it, and when he grasped the other end, Kakashi held firm.

"Was there something else?" Iruka asked in confusion, both trying, and not trying, to read the other man's intention. It was another one of his steps, to not read into Kakashi's actions, and expressions; which was currently proving to be an unbelievable challenge.

"That was going to be my question," the Hokage answered lightly, propping his chin on his free hand while still clutching the scroll with the other.

"I'm sorry?"

"Was there something you needed?" he clarified, his gaze conveying his seriousness. "I'm here to listen; it's literally my job to be of service to my village, and that includes those who inhabit it."

It looked like Kakashi had come to a resolve of his own and for a moment Iruka floundered. The flutter in his chest thumped back to life, "...no, nothing." He wasn't sure why but the words came out as a soft whisper and the other man's eyes narrowed.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Quite sure," his answer came out stronger this time, though it sounded distant over the rush of blood pumping through him. He had to fight to stay outwardly calm as Kakashi's eyes searched his; Iruka wasn't sure what the man was looking for but he knew the moment he had found it when the scroll was released. Kakashi leaned back heavily in his chair, a look of disappointment crossing his face.

Iruka switched his gaze to the document he now held, avoiding the other man's eyes. For some unfathomable reason the disappointed look made him feel guilty, as if he had flat out lied to Kakashi. His politeness kicked in, in lieu of any forthcoming follow-ups, and an automatic 'thank you' dropped from his lips. The silver-haired man nodded, motioning with his hand that Iruka was free to leave. At least that's what Iruka took the action to mean and he slowly turned, walking with measured steps, toward the door. He had no idea what had just happened, but whatever it was left him with a new ache; one he couldn't quite identify.

"I'll listen," Kakashi said to his back, voice loud in the silence of the room.

Iruka paused mid-motion of reaching for the door handle, warring over whether or not to reply, when the other man continued.

"If there's anything you have to tell, I'll listen."

It was the earnest way in which the words were said that had Iruka's breath hitching, his chest tightening, and his will waning. It was painfully tempting in the face of Kakashi's open offer. It wasn't a case of fitting together the puzzle Iruka represented any more; it was a genuine offer of help.

If he was ever going to tell Kakashi the truth, now was the time to do so. He could share his genjutsu induced Dream with the other man, get everything out in the open and hope for the best. The best being that they could remain friendly; Iruka had already put aside any ideals he had toward Kakashi ever reciprocating his feelings.

He half turned, looking back at Kakashi, torn on what to do. He knew what he couldn't do; he couldn't laugh this one off. Anything flippant, or disingenuous, at this point was off the table. Iruka would be back to running again and, after the small progress he'd made, he wasn't going to take even a single step backwards.

But was he willing to lay his cards on the table? He meet Kakashi's eyes, chest constricting at the openness he found there, and then opened his mouth to speak, mind made up.

"Nothing that I would burden you with, Kakashi-san."

It had only ever been a dream.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This has been sitting on my desktop 99% finished for almost a year and a half and last week I thought 'screw it!' and finally did the final read/edit, any mistakes are mine as I didn't re-run it by my always wonderful beta Shivvlan.


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